on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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