This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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