I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
