Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
