i already hear my dad disowning me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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