He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
