dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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