Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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