i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize