There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
