Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she peed on how many people?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
