okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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