I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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