I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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