what day is it and did you see me today?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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