Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
