oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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