all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
