I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
