Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
