Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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