I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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