While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
