For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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