My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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