This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We need to get me chipped asap
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
