too bad you live with your parents still
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
don't judge my taste in strippers
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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