Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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