I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
