smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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