oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
