i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
