There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
