He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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