big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
