I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
