I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
