just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
