belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
there's paper in my vomit.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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