did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
