Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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