i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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