I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
