Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
