Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
