i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
