I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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