I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
