By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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