i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
