It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
