I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
