he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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