I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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