similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
