And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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