if i died would you start the facebook group?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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