She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
