You're my little dorito
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
