That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
