Do vagina's smell?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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