So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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