This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
