idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Buhtt sex?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I had to cum in my sink.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
