...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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