Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
