Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She is in my trunk
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
