Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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