you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
