I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize