My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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